The Mirror of the Mind

Moments of reflection — what better way to start a week.

In the corner of our minds are the recesses of memory. We can choose to look in that mirror or we can choose not to look into that mirror. I have lived both ways.

My past had some of the ugliest recalls I’ve heard of since I’ve been alive. Did I want to remember? Nope. No part of me really wanted to go there. It happened. Leave it dead.

Problem is, that’s not how our mind works. Our mind is built with reason and protection. Through the mind’s wisdom it stores events away until they can be dealt with. We have a choice — go back to those memories and restore them or leave them hidden.

By leaving memories hidden the cost is that you will never live your authentic self. Never! Because you cannot live authentically when you are blocking years of your past. My memory of being three — running down Deleware Lane with a $20 bill in my hand stopping the ice cream man was a good memory. The house where I lived on Delaware Lane, I’d been raped in before my fourth birthday. On that same street, I’d return after watching my father murder a woman after raping her in a seedy motel room.

Did I want to go back? Not really, no. Did I need to go back? Absolutely yes.

My mind is sharp as a tack. It loses nothing but has gained memory I wish I could delete. I cannot. Those experiences live with me now. Is it hard? Yup! It sure is. And, I control my entire mind now. It no longer controls me.

Originally published at http://thepedophilehuntress.com on April 8, 2024.