Secret Endowments

An endowment is a donation of money or property to an organization, which uses the resulting investment for a specific purpose.

In the world of incest and abuse, this is a daily occurrence.

Secret endowments are given to our abusers every time an act of perversion is made against us. With their weapons, they have enslaved us to the organization of them. You can still love your perpetrators as Jesus has asked us to “love our enemies,” but secret collusions are not love.

It is contractual behavior that the abuser designed. You’re not being a good person by keeping them. As an act of love for you and your abuser, you must learn to break these bonds of deception and decay.

It cost much of my life giving these secrets endowments of myself to these abusers.

It was this ritual of giving myself to others that kept me enslaved to filthy men who treated me and my children horribly. When I learned to take back my territory and stop giving it away freely to perpetrators, I gained ground and found my freedom.

Every time I write or tell my story, it breaks that secret handshake with my abuser. Far too often, I accepted the guilt and responsibility for my shame and inadequacies. I believed that if there was I problem, I was the problem.

Not so!

I’ve learned through God’s grace to call a fig a fig. This is a Greek term. To call a fig a fig is more than just being kindly truthful about what you are speaking. You are fully exposing it or “telling it like it is.” Everything, positive or negative, is laid out for others to view and judge. This can often be a little rude or offensive.

I am not being a bully by telling my blunt story; rather, I am shutting the bullies down.

Originally published at http://prisonerbynocrimeofmyown.com on December 31, 2020.