I need to scream, I want to scream, but I find that I cannot. Won’t that kind of anger make me like my father? Won’t I look like my abusers if I let my scream fly?
I’ve cried for hours, seems like days sometimes.
Maybe I need to scream?
I remember my counselor of many years telling me to go out into the woods and
but I never did. I couldn’t.
Oh, I can scream at my husband and let some of it out there, but that’s the wrong avenue — he didn’t do any of it.
I need to scream.
I witnessed a murder and no one cared. I was raped and sodomized from childhood until my teens — no one cared. Then, my children received a father who would do the same crimes to them. Oh, we told, but no one cared.
I need to scream, but I can’t. Maybe I won’t.
If I scream doesn’t it make me look crazy? What proof do I have of any of it? If I had proof, would I scream?
Originally published at http://prisonerbynocrimeofmyown.com on June 28, 2022.