Scream

I need to scream, I want to scream, but I find that I cannot. Won’t that kind of anger make me like my father? Won’t I look like my abusers if I let my scream fly?

I’ve cried for hours, seems like days sometimes.

Maybe I need to scream?

I remember my counselor of many years telling me to go out into the woods and

but I never did. I couldn’t.

Oh, I can scream at my husband and let some of it out there, but that’s the wrong avenue — he didn’t do any of it.

I need to scream.

I witnessed a murder and no one cared. I was raped and sodomized from childhood until my teens — no one cared. Then, my children received a father who would do the same crimes to them. Oh, we told, but no one cared.

I need to scream, but I can’t. Maybe I won’t.

If I scream doesn’t it make me look crazy? What proof do I have of any of it? If I had proof, would I scream?

Originally published at http://prisonerbynocrimeofmyown.com on June 28, 2022.

--

--

Get the Medium app

A button that says 'Download on the App Store', and if clicked it will lead you to the iOS App store
A button that says 'Get it on, Google Play', and if clicked it will lead you to the Google Play store