I am here just telling my story. I am no expert but I do have experience. Experience in learning to walk a life that is not made of make-believe, anger, hate or bitterness. I don’t have to read a good book to be brought outside of my misery.
I know how to live with pain and I know how to live without pain.
My children’s biological father was diagnosed with cancer and he reached out to them. They’d been estranged for many years at this point. The decision was made to see him, listen to what he had to say and offer radical forgiveness to him. It gave my girls a platform to discover.
By definition radical means relating to or affecting the fundamental nature of something; far-reaching or thorough.
Radical forgiveness is just that.
When my mind suffers the recall of a tragic event from yesterday, sometimes I need to grieve. Sometimes I need to talk about it. All the time I need to leave it behind me. Forgiveness immediately begins to cut me free from my abusers.
What do I mean?
I process whatever memory I need to. Then, I get on down the road by saying these words in my heart, “I forgive you. I’m letting you go.”
Letting go is what many of us do not want to do. We were injured and we want to hang on to that injury until it has been noticed, exercised, healed and justice brought swiftly.
The older I get the more I know that just isn’t how life happens. What is more, I want to live authentically.
I can never erase what happened to me or what happened to my girls but I can outlive it. I don’t have to run. I stand.
I stand with all my might and say,
You have no power over me. I do not have any power of you. I am leaving you behind. Goodbye abuser. You have taken enough from me.