God is not so unjust to forget these treacherous deeds done in darkness and done in the full spectrum of daylight. He remembers because He was and is our witness.
Hear me, Lord, my plea is just;
listen to my cry.
Hear my prayer-
it does not rise from deceitful lips.
2 Let my vindication come from you;
may your eyes see what is right.
Psalms 17: 1–2
Forgiveness lives fully in my being. So much so that only God can know how much I would want each of my parents to know Him, and to live in His peace and love. That’s how much forgiveness I have.
In His justice, God will have the final say
My heart has to release my longing to see my mother live free. My father is already gone and I did what I could to have him seek out something beyond the scope of his ability to see in his limited narcissistic world.
It is not my job anymore to take care of and worry about these people.
Justice will be served to each man according to his deeds. That’s in the bible. No one can out run that command of God. No one. Not even Satan himself will out run judgment day.
So, I live in peace now. Not conditioned any longer in the fear I was taught. My sorrow now waning into more joy, I will sail on. I can’t take any prison guards with me.
C.S. Lewis said, “Forgiveness does not mean excusing.”
Our forgiveness does not release the abuser from their accountability to God. Of that I am certain.
Originally published at http://prisonerbynocrimeofmyown.com on June 9, 2021.