Jewels, Gems & Gunpowder

I would love to hear from you! Sharing Saturday with you.

Jewel: For as long as I can remember, I have hated my mother. When I was old enough to choose, I chose hate. She hated me, too.

These words are hard to share — not with you necessarily, but with myself. I don’t want to be that person but it felt I had no other choice as a child. I had to survive. The tools I were given were hate or destruction. I chose hate. I wasn’t going to let them destroy me.

And, they haven’t. But, it’s time I let this go. I choose freedom today.

Gem: Forgiveness sometimes feels like it comes at a high cost. The cost of vulnerability. The cost is heartbreak. The price to forgive is not to forget. I wish it worked that way. Forgive and forget. It simply is not the truth.

To forgive you must first remember. Those memories don’t erase themselves with the act of forgiveness.

I’m going to forgive anyway.

Metaphorical Gunpowder: Heavenly Father, teach me how to be still. My heart was been in turmoil since my mother’s womb. She hated me. I hated her. I’m going to leave this battle right here. Right now.

I am all done with it.

In Jesus’ powerful name, help me get to the other side. Take me higher.

Amen.

Leave your jewel, a gem or something you kept yourself free from with metaphorical gunpowder. I would love it hear from you.

Happy Saturday!

Originally published at http://prisonerbynocrimeofmyown.com on September 24, 2022.

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Jodie Tedder

Jodie Tedder

54 Followers

Incest. Murder. Rape. Then, I turned four. This is my story.