Incorporating Your Pain

2 min readMar 21, 2023

When I see people who had a decent childhood (and I mean, even sub-par) or relationships with literally anyone in their extended family, or support from family with their children, etc. etc. etc. Sometimes I feel a rage boil up. It feels like it is bursting flames, like a windstorm spreading in all directions.

I immediately judge myself and then feel shame for feeling this way. I try to coach myself out of these thoughts…or scold myself. But more and more, I’m trying to listen, to dig, to get curious.

And often, I see a pretty simple message: an empty place, a place that feels loveless and unloved. A place so dark and cold that I don’t want to remember or visit anymore. I lived through horrible horrible things and sometimes I just want to forget. But it’s never that simple. There is no forgetting…our bodies will always find a way to remind us.

Then, I can see, that I need to care about this pain, that I accept and love this grieving place.

Offering a compassionate and clear attention to my vulnerability has connected me with a vastness of being that could include my pain.

B 🤍

Published by Gracedxoxo

I have the courage to tell my story to help others embrace theirs. View more posts

Originally published at on March 21, 2023.




We write openly about our very traumatic childhoods. Understanding. Understanding. Unquestionable understanding. That's the message God has for you always!