Heave-Ho

There is a tradition in my family at Christmas where we gift books to each other. My oldest daughter is fantastic at finding just the right book to give me each year. Last year she gave me, The Art of Gathering by Priya Parker.

It’s an excellent book on how to plan and decide why you’re really gathering and who should be invited to those gatherings.

Chapter Two is Close Doors. It’s a chapter that explains how to exclude well. I think so many of us have the idea that all should be invited to every gathering we have.

Not so!

We need to be intentional in life about who is allowed around us, by us and who is invited to sit at our table.

One of my favorite things in life is to gather! My family knows this well and it’s why I was given this great book. I chose well these days who sits at my table.

This is a Paella I made for friends. It took me three days to prepare the homemade chorizo, perfectly construct the sofrito, and so on to it’s completion.

Here’s my family gathering for Christmas dinner this year:

The joys of coming together.

What you will not see at my table are abusers, pedophiles or folks that just lack the integrity to bring something good.

Does that sound cruel? I hope not!

I used to sit at tables where betrayal was the main course, and for dessert we were served deceit and denial.

I hated those tables!

Now, I get to choose. What a thing of beauty that is.

So, how do you exclude well? In her second chapter she asks these questions:

Who not only fits but also helps fulfill the gather’s purpose?

Who threatens the purpose?

The Art of Gathering, Chapter 2, page 42

She goes on to tell you that when you answer these two questions, you begin to grasp the gathering’s true purpose.

To fulfill the purpose of love, connection and trust at my table, I had to give a big heave-ho to many.

Chose well who you allow to be in your life.

Originally published at http://prisonerbynocrimeofmyown.com on July 14, 2021.

--

--

--

Incest. Murder. Rape. Then, I turned four. This is my story.

Love podcasts or audiobooks? Learn on the go with our new app.

Recommended from Medium

Daily Horoscope: Moon Transiting Leo

The Golden Scorpion

Who is the Millennial Cube Jockey?

THE POWERFUL INFLUENCE OF WORKING MOMS ON DAUGHTERS

From Reform to Orthodox and Back: My Unusual Jewish Journey

The Hunt

Stew for Success

The Year of You: Day 36 — Away

Get the Medium app

A button that says 'Download on the App Store', and if clicked it will lead you to the iOS App store
A button that says 'Get it on, Google Play', and if clicked it will lead you to the Google Play store
Jodie Tedder

Jodie Tedder

Incest. Murder. Rape. Then, I turned four. This is my story.

More from Medium

Jewels, Gems & Gunpowder

This Mustang chased Porsches for a living

1982 Ford Mustang police car on Jay Leno's Garage

sombat trousers are sometimes referred to as sargo pantstoo.

Jewish Board of Deputies tells Netanyahu ally he is not welcome in Britain