Finding Fault

Growing up in incest, it was placed on me at a very young age, to find fault in myself. I got great at it. I can still be good it at!

Finding fault in yourself certainly takes your eyes of the guilty, doesn’t it?

These folks are masters at disguise and turn life into a grand riddle. I don’t remember waking up in their house thinking they were bad. I remember waking up in their house thinking I was bad.

That’s how it’s always been. Some mornings I still wake up and think, “I’m bad.”

It’s such a shame. I’ve wasted years trying to remove the guilty, bad parts of me. It’s only been the last several years that I’ve placed the responsibility back on the people who raped and abused me.

For God will bring every deed into judgment, including every hidden thing, whether it is good or evil.

ecclesiastes 12:14

When I started telling the truth, all of the sudden I realized I’d been carrying a burden that was not mine. I certainly didn’t rape myself, did I. I certainly wasn’t the one who abandoned myself to shame time and time again, was I.

With great calculation abusers teach you to take the responsibility and bear the brunt of their guilt.

The truth of the matter is this: when you remain quiet about the atrocities perpetrated against you, you are bearing their burden.

Stop bearing their burden. Tell your story and make abusers accountable for their actions.

The shame and guilt isn’t meant for you, it’s meant for them. Give it back to them.

Originally published at http://prisonerbynocrimeofmyown.com on July 30, 2021.

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Incest. Murder. Rape. Then, I turned four. This is my story.

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Jodie Tedder

Jodie Tedder

Incest. Murder. Rape. Then, I turned four. This is my story.

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