Comparison is Ugly

As a child, my mother would take baths in front of me. I don’t remember her exact words but she was comparing my three year old body to hers. She was sexy and beautiful, I was not. I knew she wanted me to think of her as some kind of goddess.

When I was grown, I learned that my mother took baths in front of the next two generations after me. My own daugther remembers her bathing in front of her.

WTF!

Comparison is a beast that you don’t learn to ride. Instead, you must silence the sting of its bite. Otherwise, the curse it brings you will stay hidden and decay your inner core.

My mother compared me to my oldest sister later in life. She was the good girl and I was not. Obviously, this juxtaposition did nothing to bring me and my sister closer.

Is it jealousy that brings comparison?

My mother was outwardly jealous of my relationship with my father. What a horrible belief system I was raised around.

All my life I’ve struggled to not now compare myself to others. It is so self-destructive! Then, I read in Galatians, Apostle Paul’s words: “Each one should test their own actions. Then they can take pride in themselves alone, without comparing themselves to someone else “ (Galatians 6:4).

What a beautiful thought!

Without comparing myself to someone else, I can walk much more free. My life will never look the same as someone else’s life. Never! So, why do I compare?

Again, I believe this was taught to me in my upbringing. Another untruth I will do my best to leave in the past.

Originally published at http://prisonerbynocrimeofmyown.com on December 31, 2020.