Bits N Bs
Each week on Tuesday we will answer an anonymous message received at BitsnB1218@gmail.com or through DM. There are 60 million survivors of childhood sexual crimes. One in nine don’t report. The real number of victims is staggering but no one wants to talk about it. We will. If you need anonymous advice from Jesus’ girls that lived through this tragedy, please send an email.
Good afternoon, my name is (name omitted). I am one of your previous guest’s daughters.
I am her only child who has gone through the long process of healing being under her care which is why I am reaching out.
I have a bachelors in psychology and a masters in special Ed and counseling. I only mention my credentials to say that my mother has multiple personality disorder.
The person or personality you were interviewing is not my mom. The person who makes YouTube videos is not my mom. She spent years emotionally abusing us and all 4 of her kids were homeless at different points of our youth because of her. She kicked us all out individually at different times due to her personality disorder.
Three of her children has attempted suicide because of her with me being the only exception.
I spent many years getting help because my depression was so bad because of what she put us through.
I finally got my healing through surrendering my life to God but this video is very triggering as my mom is a pathological liar and I am even more scared of the people who follow her and call her “apostle” “pastor” “preacher” “woman of god”.
I pray for my mom everyday and pray she receives healing from God. I love her very much but I cannot stand by while these lies go out to the public.
My grandfather I believe had BDP and was physically abusive towards my grandmother. That I do agree on but she has not made amends with her mother who has tried to YEARS to repair their relationship.
My mom has sent my grandmother letters to her house saying “if you die I will not attend your funeral”. That is not someone who has surrendered their life to God and is “changed”.
None of her 4 children speak to her with the exception of me who tries to keep it cordial with lots of boundaries.
It’s also interesting that my mom does all these interviews because she told me a couple weeks ago that if I tell my story of my childhood, “God would punish me”.
She has never taken accountability for any of her actions and believes that “if God forgave her” she is clear of ever having to restore any relationships or trauma she has done to us.
I am so sorry for this long email but I just thought it was worth reaching out, thank you.
Dear Anonymous,
Thank you so much for the bravery it took to write in and the trust you must have with us in order to handle the details of your experience with care.
My mother responded to your sibling in last week’s Bits N Bs and I will be responding to you with as much perspicacity I can muster.
I understand the pain of parent-child relationships — especially ones that hail from longtime trauma that has been passed down through generations. For half of my life, I was haunted by the legacy of alcoholism, drug addiction, mental illness, incest & secrecy. As a result, I felt unrelentingly lonely, abandoned and damaged. I was addicted to drugs and attempted suicide many times myself because of the actions of those who should’ve protected me.
Reading your letter, it’s so clear to me that you are being forthright — you have a generosity of spirit and share your story with a compassionate retelling that can only come from the heart of someone so invested in the truth.
You seem like an amazing person, so strong and brave. In spite of every reason not to, you’ve spent your life relentlessly reaching toward the light. You accepted your mother for who she was and forgave her for things many would consider unforgivable. You set healthy boundaries with your mother even though you had to teach yourself what they were. You faced your own depression and demons and strove for health that your mother never seemed to find. You have pursued positive personal paths professionally and developed mental and spiritual practices that no doubt deepen and nurture your understanding of your experiences and also, of your mother.
More than anything: you are standing in the truth. Capital- T truth. You have God in your corner and with those two forces it is impossible to be drowned out.
As you already know, we can’t erase our lives. We can’t change what our mothers or fathers were like or what demons or gods ruled them. We can only change who we are in relation to them. We can revise how we narrate those stories of our lives.
The truth is the Light. It will always lead you out of the darkness. And it doesn’t matter how many interviews your mother sits down for or how many videos she posts or how many people she has deceived into thinking she is somebody she’s not. The truth remains and that can never be taken from you. God will not let it be distorted or dimmed.
This is how we find our way outward and onward. By holding onto light hardest. By cradling it like the cure that it is. By making it realer than anything ever was. The rest is just monsters and ghosts.
B 🤍
Originally published at http://thepedophilehuntress.com on April 23, 2024.
